Sitting on my shelf, ever since my father died, rests this puzzle:
It sat on my father's shelf, at his office at the university, for many years. Countless students and faculty tried to solve this puzzle (free the middle piece from the other two pieces). I tried to solve this puzzle for over 15 years, probably more, if I could remember.
Ever since my father died in 2018, the puzzle has sat there on my self, visible but never touched...until three days ago.
I looked at the puzzle and suddenly had a new idea of how to solve it! I took it down from the shelf and worked on it for two hours. I put it aside and picked it up again yesterday for another couple hours.
Unfortunately, I don't know that I've made any progress. The puzzle remains puzzling.
But as I worked, my wife gently suggested, "Maybe it can't be done?"
I thought about her comment, said I liked puzzles, and went back to twisting and turning the shapes in hopes of finding a solution. As I worked, the question lingered. Why DID I work so hard? So long? What if the puzzle WAS unsolvable?
Then it hit me. Working on this puzzle was exactly like my purpose in life. The puzzle is the universe, understanding the universe. I spend my whole life searching for an answer, one I will never be able to discover or understand completely. In fact, I believe all of humanity will spend its whole existence as a species, and ALL life will spend its existence, trying to understand the universe.
So why do I work on the puzzle?
Because, even knowing it MAY be unsolvable does not mean it IS unsolvable. Every time I work on the puzzle I learn a little bit, about what doesn't work, about my misconceptions, misunderstandings. Even though I may not solve the puzzle, I will get closer, by remembering all my mistakes. But why would I want to doom myself to a life of mistakes? Because curiosity and hope are strong motivators, even in the face of constant failure.
This is the message the universe offers me: hope, imagine the world could be different. And the rewards are that I solve little bits of the puzzle, bits that encourage me that there IS hope, that the world CAN be different. This is what life is all about. It started as an unconscious instantiation, a random combination that worked. It developed, became more successful, developed a memory, learning to learn. Life continued to get better at surviving, becoming self-aware, able to anticipate, increasing our chances of survival by understanding and controlling the world around us.
And so I hope, some day (soon?) to solve the puzzle I inherited from my father. Or at least, like him, die trying ;-)
